Random thoughts of the sanity deprived
It's the strange thoughts of those we like to put on this website. nah ha ha.
Just remember, anything's possible... expect skiing through revolving doors of course
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
What do you call male ballerinas?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from? Morons?
Who was the first one who thought that the white thing that came from a hen's butt looked edible?
Chinese Proverbs
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who scratch butt should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Man who drive like hell bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who farts in church sit in own pew
Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off
You can stick feathers up your butt, but it won't make you a chicken.
A truly wise man will never play leapfrog with a unicorn
How do you throw away a garbage can?
At a laundry mat:
Please remove all your clothing when the light goes out.
Maybe this world is another
planets hell.
Why
is Iceland Green and Greenland icy?
Why do your feet smell and your nose run? (wouldn't it be the other way around?)
Why do we use 'www' instead of 'world wide web'? (one has more syllables!)
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one care, WHY does he keep doing it?!
What do you call a fly with no wings? (grounded, maybe)
What is soul food made out of?
Is it possible for something to be impossible, or impossible for anything to be
impossible?
To be, or not be??
Is it possible to fail at failure, or fail at failing?
What do you do (or say) when someone bald
comes
into a styling shop?
Where IS Waldo?!
Will Carmen San Diego ever settle down?
Can you sometimes forget to remember?
What is the exact time that she will be coming around the mountain?
If there is a Mother Goose, is there a Father Gander?
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, this bad grammar be making me sick?
On the
other hand.... you have different fingers
-jack handey