I have come up with a whole bunch of IM messages that we allow you to use.
Have fun my feathered friends
P.S if you want to submit some of your own weird away messages, then email me
Hello. This answering machine is attached by several wires to a kitten,
which is attached by several more wires to a bomb. If you don't leave a
message that I actually want to hear, the bomb will explode, and so will the
kitten. I love you! Bye Bye
Submitted
by: ~Kelsey!~†††
kickin_it_with_jesus @cheerful.com
Sippin' a martini with Hitler. Be back soon.
Can be altered to Jesus/Elvis/tupac/Ronald
Reagan
Hi this is %SN's computer. He's away, but I'm open for conversation. ;-)
I'm not here, I've gone out to look for myself. If I come back before I return, please tell me to wait.
I thought I was here. Wait Lemme check, nope, not here.
We're at a commercial break. be back in 5.
I AM BORED. SO I AM GOING TO BLOW MY BRAINS OUT. BE BACK SOON.
00111 101011 00001 010101010010
11110
this is binary for "leave a message"
I am not available because I am playing a computer game that takes up the whole screen.........Or am I? >:)
Knock knock
Whose there?
No-one
No-one who?
No seriously, no one is here so leave me a message
If I wasn't away I would talk but I'm not talkin' so that means
I'm away.
-Elaine
Guess what. I'm not here!
Hey look on the bright side! At least you're talking to an empty chair.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I don't care for gum
So I'm out eating glue
Last night I was laying in my bed
looking up at the stars and wondered,
"Where the hell is my ceiling?"
I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.
I already got A thru Y locked up in a cage, now it's time to get some Z's
ATTENTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: Due to recent cut backs, the light at the end of the tunnel has been removed. Thank you and have a nice day.
Error 405: Reality.sys corrupted. Universe halted. Reboot (yes/no?)
It's psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I'll get a saw.
-submitted by: Kayleen McSweeney kayleen@ kdmnet.com
Took my gun and went fishing.
I'm tending to the four captured guests that I have in my kitchen.... Please leave a message.
I've fallen into the 4th dimension again, dang... leave a message.
Hi, this is a soulless, thoughtless piece of machinery you're talking to. If you'd like to talk to something more exciting, go stare at the wall. He tells good jokes.
I am currently shaving my animal crackers with a pair of fingernail clippers. Please take a number, and I will cut your hair accordingly. And
if you DON'T want the mo-hawk special, please press F on your keyboard now
Shoo fly, don't bother me.
Sorry %n, I'm not available at this time;
I was having a transcendental moment- took a wrong turn
and now I am currently trying to find my way back to my body.
I'm frying my toes, be back soon.
It's deer season and I'm out dressed as a deer
Take revenge,
Crap on a pigeon.
Making a donation to the urination society. Be back soon.
Nature calls my heart and soul,
Away to the toilet I must go!
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
If you turn a corner and you run into yourself, then you know that there no more corners left to turn.
When everything is all said and done, everything is just said, and not done!
Well.... on the other hand....
You have different fingers.
-Jack Handey
"There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have just crossed this line."
Me? Fail English? That's unpossible!
It has commenced...finals week is upon us in full force, seizing what sanity I have left after a menacing term. The thought of a pure, utopian society has faded while - name of school- has captured the last breath of any rational existence and conquered our self-worth. In coming days it is likely to see a plethora of unpleasant faces staring into an oblivion that can only be experienced by the -name of school- society. The underlying prolificacy in which this institution so loves to put forth has taken a toll on our already feeble carcasses, in result of consuming repulsive dining hall rations. The possibility of survival is a distant notion...God help us all...
Forgive me, dear stranger, but I have been called upon to slay the dragon known as School and free the land and my people of its bondage. I shall reply to your hails once my quest has been fulfilled and my foe thwarted. Farewell, good friend.
Me, asleep at school? No, I'm just trying to pick up my contact lens without using any hands.
I'm asleep right now, but as soon as class ends, I'll get right back to you
I doubt, therefore I might be
Anything in parenthesis can (not) be ignored.
Imagine a world without hypothetical situations.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Oh I'm here. I'm very well here. just IM me and I'll be there waiting and huffing and puffing at your feet to talk to you and cure your boredom.
I have my back turned on the monitor, but if you IM me, I will hear the "jingle" and come running. It may take me a little while, but I'll be here never the less.
I am really here....probably sitting right in front of the comp right this minute....as you read this.....but see, I just wanted to have an away message, for the heck of it...no reason....just cause that's what nuts do....we do crap that makes people wish they were us...or wish we would get therapy...one or the other...